The Dos and Don’ts of Helping Your Children Through Divorce

Child sad with parents' Divorce

Any kind and loving parent will always have their children as a priority no matter what it is they’re going through, even a divorce. Some couples would look for divorce mediation services in Long Island just to make it easier for their kids. If you’re getting a divorce and you’ve got kids who’ll be affected by it, this guide will help them get through it with you.

What You Should DO

Tell them together

Breaking the news to them together will help them understand that you’ve decided on it together. Emphasize the fact that you both still love them no matter what.

Explain it in their words, not yours

Don’t go into long explanations as it can confuse them. Tell them that sometimes adults may not want to stay together anymore. Assure them that it’s not their fault and that you both still love them.

Listen to them

If they’re angry or have questions, take time to listen to them as they voice out their feelings. This will tell them that their opinions are important too.

What You Should NEVER DO

Put your partner in a bad light

Blaming your partner or telling them about the bad things they did will affect how your kids will see one of their parents now and in the future.

Tell them you tried to work it out for them.
Saying “We tried to stay together for you” will make them feel that it’s their fault. And that can be a damaging burden to a child that they can bring with them through life.

Make promises you can’t keep

If you tell them that your partner will see them on weekends, but he/she doesn’t come through, this will make your child lose his trust in you.

Remember to be careful with what you say and what you show them to make sure this doesn’t become a burden to them as they grow old. It’s never easy to go through a divorce but remember that your kids are there to help you get through it, too.